On the Edge of Uncertainty

It is pretty easy to become complacent and comfortable in your surroundings. Everything seems to be going well then all can change in a matter of minutes, hours or days. For many months, I was caught in a loop of perceived reality that was entirely turned upside-down and inside-out within the last few months. Every day has beome another day of uncertainty with me.

It was not always like that. A few months ago some changes happened and although I did not like them, I hoped for the best and carried on. As time passed, Things spiraled this way and that way but a couple weeks ago, I was pushed into a realm that I do not like to be in.

I am a control freak in many ways. I can relate in many different aspects to Jacob in the Bible. Constantly having plans and schemes to either avoid trouble or trying to make something better. I trust myself entirely too much and I am one who must be pushed into uncertainty. I believe that is what God is doing in my life at this moment. I have become too confident in myself; trusting my judgment, plans and ways to allow me to do what I believed was the right thing. It made me lose focus and ultimately when things begin to go the way I do not want them to go, I have had to realize my faults in this and I have become very aware of how I am not in control of my life.

During this new year, every day will have to be a day in which I place my entire faith on God and what His plans are. Some people would think that it is horrid to have to do something like that, but for me, it gives me great peace. God’s sovereignty, His control over everything, gives me great peace and joy because I know that He is good and does things for my good and His glory. I can look back in my life to situations where I thought things were at their worst. I was not where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to do. It was in those times that God taught me so much and grew me to make me who I am now.

It isn’t going to be easy. Whatever happens will happen. I am not in control. It is at this point that I know how God is in sovereign in all things. I am thankful for this because I, as a wretched sinner, can make a mess out of anything. I simply cannot state it enough: God’s will be done.

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